Tuesday, February 21, 2012

What did he say? A Challenge.

This week we have our first challenge for the Campaign.
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:

  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!
I managed to do everything on the list. It was fun. To make sure the scene was in my genre I wrote a memory to do with my WIP. The main character has a form of amnesia and often "relives" the memories of his past life.

      Shadows crept across the wall as a woman entered the hallway. She wore a cream robe and her dark hair was shorter this time, more professional.
      Suddenly he pulled her through the wall opening. His mind jolted with shock and fear as his body pressed her against the wall. She jerked her arm free and he kissed her passionately.
      His body’s heart rate sped up. It felt so real. Frantic, he tried to stop, or at least get out of this memory. His past self tore open her robe. Don’t do this! His mind begged his body, which was only getting more aroused.
      The woman jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist. She pulled at his long hair and kissed his neck. Ex stopped fighting. He had long hair?
      “You did it!” She squeezed him. “Now you’re all mine.” She twirled a finger in his hair as his hands pulled at the blood orange blouse beneath her robe.
      He was out of breath. “Of course I’m yours, I’m your husband.”
      What did he say?
      She smiled. “Forever.” She lifted the blouse over her head.
      He stopped. “Oh, about that.”
      “Tell me later.” She pulled him closer and everything faded.

P.S. Maybe I wrote this scene because I was jealous of all the great scenes in the blogfests at valentines day.


  1. Great scene! I like the tension between them both and the concept of reliving his past memories is intriguing.

  2. "She twirled a finger in his hair..." He's a gonner - great job!

    Laurie Buchanan (entry #92)

  3. I agree with Komal, Great scene! I your use of descriptive language and imagery! Nice work! :)

    I'm #37 :)

  4. sorry I meant to say "I love your use of descriptive language"

  5. Whoa. I LOVED it! Great job!! Definitely a favorite. Voting for you!

    I'm entry #19

  6. Great description...and you left us with an intriguing hanger! Good job with the prompts. I'm 112.

  7. uh - was that supposed to be amusing? romantic? paranormal? It's late here Maybe I've been reading too much lol
    Let me know at #103

  8. That was excellent. --What I'm married?

  9. Thanks for the nice comments! I still need to make my rounds and read more entries.

    sue- I'm not sure how to label it yet but this is mystery contemporary fantasy. The scene starts scary, because it seems like bad things always happen in his memories and then it reveals something important. If anyone thinks his reaction is funny then that's just a plus.

  10. Richly dialogued. That's enough to keep me reading. It's been a while since I last visited your blog. Good thing these hops help to keep us writers connected. Nice one! :)

  11. It makes you wonder, is this just a dream? Very nice!

  12. I'm so curious why this was his past?!

  13. Really interesting and wonder what the future will hold for them! I'm #61.

  14. I'm confused by where they are and what's real and what's not, but at least they are having a good time. lol mine is #71

  15. Very intriguing, this poses a lot of questions - is she really his wife? Is it just being imagined/remembered? My WIP deals with a similar subject so this is very interesting to me. Following you now!

  16. Wow, that was interesting and well written. I'd love to see more.

  17. Nice concept! Really enjoyed it!

  18. I think in the book it'll be more clear that this is a flashback but I'm hoping the reader will be unsure of what's true and what really happened - so these comments are great for helping me see what the reader might think.

  19. Hi I'm looking for your contact info for a bookreview/post?
    Can you email me at EdenLiterary at gmail dot com