Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Complicated: Contest #1

Rachael Harrie, host of the campaign, has given us challenge number one. You can go there to read other entries. Make sure to "like" the best ones in the link list (mine). Even if you're not in the campaign you can join just for fun!

We were asked to write a short story, beginning with "the door swung open". I decided to take the extra challenge and made it exactly 200 words ending with "the door swung shut".


The door swung open and I was face to face with the man who killed my mother. He wore a grey suite with sheen, too expensive for the humble façade. Didn’t matter, I could see through him no matter what he was wearing.
Bartholomew, they called him, as he put his hand to the bible. He always hated that name but I was glad. I wouldn’t have to hear the childhood nickname I gave him. Bear.
A new rush of blood heated my face. My fingers went stiff and dropped my notebook. Leave it. I don’t want to miss a second.
“What was your relationship with the victim?” the Defence said.
Bear stared me down. Er, Bartholomew. Was he trying to scare me? I stared right back. This was the first we’d made eye contact since the police found us making out in the back of Bear’s Escalade.
Is that a tear on his face? That’s right Bear, milk it. “Well, I . . .”
The lead homicide detective burst through the door and stormed to the front. “Judge Spencer, we need to discuss-”
“Wait until recess,” the judge warned.
“We have a confession.” Slowly creaking, the door swung shut.



13 comments:

  1. Ah! Wait! What confession? You had me hooked and now the story is over. Drat. Great entry, Emily! :)

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  2. Loved this!! I wanted more--more of the confession, more of Bear, more of the making out in an Escalade--great job!

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  3. oh, you just left us hanging... I want more!!!!! :)

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  4. Ooohh, this leads to all kinds of questions. I want more. Great job. Mine is #72

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  5. wait, someone else confessed?! I agree with the others, I want more.

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  6. Yeah, I wanted to know more about her relationship with Bear, because it sounds like a complicated past. Thanks for joining in the Challenge, though.

    Nice to meet you, and I'll be seeing you down the Campaign trail - I'm part of the Canadian Campaigners group!

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  7. What!! So short! Haha, you had me hooked real good :)

    And I also staged my prompt in a court room! ... And with a girl whose lover was a murderer!

    MIND TWINS ;)

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  8. Ha! Does this mean she, or he, made out with the wrong guy? Nice pace, good action, well done!

    Stobby

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  9. Great story! I definitely want to know more. I liked the narrative voice.

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  10. This was really interesting, there's already a complicated emotional set up, cool!

    Btw, I've passed the versatile blogger award to you, check it out on my blog: http://iqurae.blogspot.com/

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  11. thank you everyone. It looks like I've managed to hook the reader - just what I wanted ;)

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